Happy Father's Day

We had a great time Thursday night. We told Queen Teen to keep an ear out for her sleeping sister and brother and an eye on the house, as we'd be going out... to, uh... beat the crowds by shopping at night, yeah, at the 24-hour supermarket in Enniskillen, doncha know.

She looked us over. "You're not going to watch Star Trek again??" Eye-roll.

No, no, no NO of course not. We're out of um, milk... and mayonnaise, I think. I could do with some olives. It has NOTHING to do with Star Trek. Eye-roll back at her... honestly. We're far too advanced in our middle age to see a film this late in the evening; we'd only fall asleep. We're going (we said very firmly) to Asda.

We were the only ones in the theatre that evening; we had the whole thing to ourselves and the darling projectionist didn't even bother with previews. Woo hoo! It was superb. No women pushed past our knees for a bathroom break at the most heartstopping moments, and no men rustled crisp packets too loudly at weepy romantic ones. Nobody stared when we crouched behind seats shooting finger-phasers back at attacking Romulans ("phdew phdew"), and nobody turned to frown at me when I jumped up shouting "Get him Sulu!!"

Brilliant!

"Except," I had to finally say, on the way out the door (bloody projectionist having cut off the credits), "for that goofy-ass Star Wars ending." I never liked the ending of Star Wars, and I didn't like seeing it stuck in the end of a Star Trek.

Hubby was suddenly all-picture-no-sound for the drive home. D'oh! How could I forget that I'd married a Star Wars fan?

It's not something you'd usually forget, after all. We've got a similar marriage that a Steelers fan would have marrying the daughter of a Dallas Cowgirl. A Manchester United devotee would feel the same, marrying into a West Ham family. A Coca-cola drinker knows what's coming when he's served Pepsi when he goes to meet the parents... It's the elephant in the room you know, the awkward moment always waiting to happen.

"I can't believe," he finally said, "that with the hundreds of DVDs our kids have, we've never gotten the Star Wars collection in." Well, at least he was speaking to me again, sort of. And now I can be cheerful this Father's Day morning even before coffee, because when the baby takes him by the hand to pull out Dora 'Splorer videos, there's going to be a box-set-sized wrapped-up present hiding in the video cabinet, and now you know what's in it.

Happy Father's Day!

Chicken Soup for the Soul accepts stories on a continual basis. For fathers or those wishing to write about fathers, upcoming titles include Thanks Dad: "We are looking for stories of thanks from “children” of all ages about their dads. These stories of innumerable joys and challenges will touch your heart, make you laugh, inspire you and remind you that it doesn’t matter how old you are, the job of a parent never ends. The deadline date for story submissions is June 30, 2009." Check the guidelines here.

(The very similar collection of A Cup of Comfort books isn't currently looking for anything Dad-specific but does want stories about couples, and golfers. Seems there could be an overlap opportunity.)

If you have a full-blown novel ready but no agent, there's Father's Press which is looking for works that are 'not contrary to conservative Christian beliefs'. Well I can keep looking then—-they also don't want fantasy or science fiction—-but in addition to novel manuscripts Father's Press will also look at non-fiction proposals. The link takes you straight to their guidelines page.

Interactive Dad accepts nonfiction articles for its magazine. "We’re looking for subject matter that appeals to dads between 24-40 years old that can’t easily be found elsewhere." Like how to keep the TV remote away from the kids, or scrape Bob the Builder stickers from the car you're trying to sell, or remove peanut butter fingerprints from your favourite CDs?

Heart Touchers is a publication distributed by e-mail; they don't pay for contributions but each author does get a bio where a link could go, if you're looking for exposure/publicity and have something you'd like to share.

Children, Churches & Daddies is a literary art magazine looking for the "intelligent and powerful"... but NOT anything about children, churches or Daddies. Uuhhh...ok. While you're there, you can consider responding to their call for entrants for their "Sexy Poets" 2010 Wall Calendar. Uuhhhh, ooookaaaay....

Of course, I guess there must be sexy-poet Dad out there somewhere...