Confessions of a Fiction Writer

After several offline conversations with and about writers, I thought I'd come out of the closet a bit about my own writing.

It seems some people have a perception that a full-time writer simply sits on the sofa daydreaming a few hours before dashing off a bit of a story that she sends off to Ms. Editor, thereafter promptly receiving a cheque to cover a new pair of Jimmy Choos.

As. If.

Ordinarily I just shrug off such assumptions, allowing the illusion to stand. Then, a recent long conversation with a young writer who's decided to give up after her first 'real' story received three form rejections (aw bless) made me decide to come clean.

So, here's some random facts about my writing life. Maybe some of you will feel better about your own writing efforts after this, while others will have a good laugh. Go ahead, I don't mind.

1. I write about six or seven hours a day, every day, working to complete a novel and to submit an average 10-15 pieces each month. During a typical month I'll receive 2-3 acceptances, a few rewrite requests, one or two cheques, and a whole pile of rejections. Which I burn.

2. I've heard editors reject 95% or more of what they receive. I think that makes me feel better. So does #3 on the ol' Slushkiller page.

3. I write in bed in my pyjamas. Lots of pillows, lots of coffee, and I love every minute. Why not? When you make about 30c/hour, you have to love every minute.

4. My stories tend to be rejected 3-6 times before being accepted somewhere. Most are written with a specific market or contest in mind, yet very rarely stick the first time I throw. Richard Bach once said "a professional writer is an amateur who wouldn't quit." Ain't that the truth.

5. Sometimes a story's accepted and not published until a year or 18 months later, or more. A year's a long time to wait for ten bucks, but that can be the reality. Another reality is cheques that forget to arrive at all, and sending invoices.

6. I got my very first rejection in the mail when I was 16 years old, from Daw Books (I can laugh now, but God, the nerve of me). This was back in the day when novel manuscripts were typed page by 20lb-bond-paper-page on a typewriter (ka-ching!) , then packed in a box and shipped to New York City at enormous postal cost in spite of the cheaper "paper rate". The rejection took over a year to arrive: "Dear Author...". I was devastated.

I no longer need to spend money on reams of paper, cases of Tipp-ex, or spare typewriter ribbons, and when I'm finished I simply hit "send" and it's gone without paying for stamps. But when a rejection comes it still feels the same.

7. As bad as rejections are, acceptances aren't much better. The first time you see what an editor can do to your story is unforgettable. Kind of like the first time I ate at Taco Bell and spent the following three days in a hospital. I've rarely read a published story of mine since.

8. My income from fiction is tiny; most of my income is from other sources, including grants, writing-for-hire, blogging, ebay, magazine articles, and photography. I've got nearly twenty small 'income streams' that trickle in to make ends meet, and I don't personally know a single writer who lives on an income solely from fiction writing. (If you're one, feel free to gloat in the comments, you'll give me hope!)

9. Most stories earn me $5-10, and some earn nothing at all. A few have gotten over $100. One earned me an overnight trip for two to London, and a few others have helped me get grants of all sizes, from $150 - €15,000. In my own opinion, the high-paid ones were no better than the ones that got five bucks, and a few of my favourites never found a publisher at all. That's how it goes.

10 would have made it far too long, don't you think?